There's A Strange Feeling In The Air

Over the past few nights, my old foe, insomnia, has returned. Since mid last week, my sleep has steadily grown patchier. It tends to go in cycles and for the best part, I'm used to it. It normally doesn't last more than a week or two, so unless it goes for longer, I take my grouchy self, dose up on several cups of tea and push through those couple of weeks and then enjoy a couple of weeks of 'normal' sleep (i.e. 5-6 hours of patchy sleep, rather than 1-2).

This time, however, it's returned with an unusual addition. For the best part, I don't dream. Well, I say I don't dream. What I mean is, I don't tend to recall any dreams, if any have occurred. Some people say that I'm missing out on a rather bizarre, yet pleasurable experience. I'm a little divided, on the rare occasions that I do dream, I wake up far more mentally tired than when I don't. My brain doesn't feel like its had as much of a rest as it normally gets. It feels cheated. But on the other hand, dreams do sound rather fun.

The flip-side of dreams, however, is nightmares. And it's this particular (and unwelcome) addition to my most recent insomnia bout that I object to most. That might sound like a contradiction in terms. Nightmares with insomnia. But when I have my insomnia bouts I tend to manage to sleep a total of an hour, maybe two, or three of I'm really lucky, all night. I need those hours to be as restful for my brain as possible. So for them to be filled with nightmares is most unpleasant.

I'm not really sure what to do about it. All the nightmares are work-related and all are tied in to a specific situation that has recently arisen. Hopefully, I should have some clarity on that in the next week. Hopefully. [insert generic benevolent deity] knows, I spend more than enough of my time thinking about work! There is a teeny tiny little piece of me inside that is allowing me to let myself hope that a large part of my current crappy work situation is going to be fixed very, very soon. Maybe the nightmares is the other part going 'Yes, but what if this doesn't work out?' Something I really don't want to think about. A sobering thought indeed.

The other thing that may well be contributing to the current state of affairs is the invasion of our fair city by the slathering hordes of sports-ball fans. It's Rugby World Cup eve and the feel of the city has steadily been changing for the past week. A rugby fan might tell you it's excitement, but it makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up (and not in a good way). For the past few nights, the sounds of K Rd have been different. It's strange. But it feels like a different place. I don't feel nearly so comfortable wandering out along the road later in the evening.

I also have the dubious pleasure of working fairly close to the fan-zone, where we can cater for approximately 15,000 people, yet expect to potentially have up to 100,000 arrive tomorrow evening. Many of those people will then yahoo their way around the city toward Eden Park. I hope that the event organisers have prepared adequately. I really do. The Kiwi attitude of 'She'll be right' doesn't really cut it for large scale events when you're trying to move drunk people en masse.

For someone like me, who at times suffers from some fairly decent anxiety in large crowds, this is not at all an appealing prospect. My lovely workmate has offered to drop me off on her way home and I will be ensuring I am adequately stocked with groceries so as to ensure I don't need to leave the house for the evening, indeed for the weekend, should it be required!

On the plus side, as I am currently house-sitting on K Rd for some friends who are in Sydney, I will have a fantastic perch to sit and watch the parade of drunken tomfoolery that is the Fan Trail between downtown and Eden Park. Let the entertainment begin.