The Strange Lightness Inside that Comes with Making a Difficult Decision

The human brain is a strange thing, indeed. I've been struggling with a somewhat difficult decision for some weeks now. It's something that has been niggling and irksome in my life, but not something that I thought making a decision over would have a huge resultant mental impact, one way or another, purely because making the decision does not directly link to an immediate action. 

The decision is, quite simply, a mental declaration, and the physical aspects that embody it will come into place so slowly, so gradually and over a relatively long period of time, so as not to play a part in the mental impact directly related to the taking of the initial decision (beyond, of course, that attached to the consideration of their implementation).

It turns out, however, that I was completely incorrect. The decision, once taken has resulted in the strangest lightness and feeling of calm. I can look at this two ways, I suspect it's a little of both. Firstly that the subject of the decision was more of a mental burden than I had previously suspected. And secondly, that simply the act of deciding, independent of action, can be, in and of itself for me, enough sometimes.

If you had asked me that about myself before, I would have resolutely denied it. I am well known for my dislike of "faffing about". A decision, once taken, is generally organised and implemented as efficiently as possible.

I suspect I learned something fairly valuable about myself, in that lesson. The next challenge will be figuring out how to execute a more restrained implementation strategy. 

In the meantime, I'm enjoying the feeling of lightness, it feels good, it feels healing, it feels...happy. It feels free.